A Different Kind of Uncomfortable
by WindyCity96
Summary: (Sequel to Red and Blue, possibly part 3 three of a Romanogers Soulmate series) They say that the first kiss between soulmates is a surreal experience. Steve and Natasha have no idea how surreal until they experience it for themselves.
1. Fireworks on the Fourth of July

Life after meeting Natasha Romanoff was different to say the least. Steve couldn't stop thinking about her. How could he? She was his soulmate. His better half. The one he was destined to be with. There was just one problem. They weren't together.

They never even acknowledged the fact that they were soulmates. What was Steve supposed to say? "Hi, I'm Steve. I spent the past seventy years as a human popsicle. Want to get hitched and start a family?" Steve barely understood the women of own era. He had no idea how to approach the common woman of the twenty-first century. And Natasha was no ordinary woman.

She was strong. Confident. Independent. Gorgeous. Mysterious. It was the mystery that really intrigued Steve. He had known Natasha for two years now. And yet, Steve still felt like he barely knew her. While he had told her many stories about his life in the nineteen-forties, she had said oh so little about her own life. Natasha was guarded. By a wall a mile high. A wall that only Clint Barton could get past. At first, Steve thought that might be the reason Natasha had never said anything about their...unique connection. But when he asked her about it, Natasha laughed.

"We're just friends. Clint was the one who brought me into SHIELD," she explained in a deeply grateful tone "I owe him everything."

Which meant that it was possible to get past the wall Natasha stayed behind. So, Steve looked for an opening. He asked her to teach him modern fighting styles. When he joined SHIELD, he requested her to be his partner. And for a while it seemed to be working. Soon, they started making jokes. He started calling her Nat instead of Natasha. She even helped him adjust to modern life, helping him update his wardrobe and suggesting some of her favorite movies and shows to watch. And every once in a while, when the two of them were alone, Natasha's accent would slip. And Steve could hear the slightest of bit of the Russian in her voice. She'd blink, equally surprised by herself as he was, clear her throat and pretend it never happened. But for the briefest of moments, a redness would creep into her cheeks. To see the calm and composed Black Widow flustered, if even for a moment, was a rare sight. And to think that Steve was the cause of it, was both flattering and adorable. The wall was still there. Steve could feel it. But he felt like he might be able to find a way to get over it. Then Natasha asked him if he was interested in a date with Maria Hill.

It didn't stop there. For weeks, the Black Widow played at being Captain America's matchmaker, offering to set a date with every single woman of SHIELD. And everytime, Steve wanted to shout "I don't want any of those girls, I want you! You're my soulmate." But he could never find the words. Natasha had a whole life before Steve came along. What right did he have to try and force himself into the role he wanted, and not the one she offered him? So, Steve resigned to simply being her friend. No matter how much he wanted to be more. No matter how much it hurt when she wasn't with him.

She was the fire that kept him living. Whenever she wasn't around, Steve felt cold. Like somebody had thrown him back into the ice and he was slowly freezing to death. And no matter how many layers he put on, no matter how high he cranked up the heat in his apartment, Steve could never get warm. Not until he saw Natasha Romanoff again. He wished he could tell her that, but everytime he tried, he froze.

_Focus soldier, _Steve thought, blinking away his romantic thoughts _Stay on mission. _

The super soldier and the Russian spy walked side by side as they attempted to leave the Washington D.C. mall, heading off to New Jersey to investigate the mysterious USB drive that Nick Fury had died for, Steve spotted two STRIKE agents walking towards them. Fortunately, they hadn't seen Steve and Natasha yet.

"I'll engage," Steve whispered "You head for the Southwest exit. I'll catch up as soon as I can."

"Shut up and put your arm around me," Natasha ordered "laugh at something I said."

"What?"

"Just do it."

Steve quickly obeyed, wrapping his around Natasha's shoulder as he forced laugh, trying to ignore the racing beat in his heart from the moment they touched. Every time they shared even the slightest physical contact, Steve got this rush. As if someone had added another log to Natasha's fire, increasing the warmth that it gave to him. It made Steve want to hug her and never let go. Among...other things. If he got like this just from doing something as harmless as holding her hand, Steve could only imagine what would happen if he ever really touched Natasha.

And then, as Rumlow approached them from the opposite elevator, Natasha said the one thing Steve never thought he'd hear her say.

"Kiss me."

"What?"

"Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable," she explained.

"Yes, they do." Steve confirmed, struggling to come up with any sort of an excuse not to kiss Natasha. He had heard stories about the first kiss between soulmates. And if half of those stories were true, Steve would never be the same.

Steve's eyes widened in disbelief as Natasha wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him down towards her, pressing her lips against his without a moment's hesitation.

Steve's heart raced. His blood boiled with passion. His vision blurred into a pure red haze.

* * *

_Steve walked with Natasha in Central Park on a hot summer day, the setting sun shining its light light across a red tinted sky. The war had been over for nearly a decade and a half now. And thanks to the combined genius of Howard and Tony Stark, Captain America was saved from his icy tomb. And not long after that, Steve found Natasha. The super soldier wore a crisp oxford shirt tucked into a pair of dark brown slacks and brown oxford shoes. While Natasha wore a bright red blouse, a jet black skirt and matching heels, a diamond ring on her hand. It was a modest ring, but Natasha treasured it more than life itself. The russian spy laughed as a pair of children pulled them along the beaten brick path, eager to reach the Starks' annual Fourth of July celebration._

_The boy was a redhead, like Natasha, with sparkling blue eyes that could only come from Steve, wearing a white button-up shirt tucked into a pair of jeans. The girl looked like Natasha with little blonde curls, wearing a pale blue sundress and white flats. The children quickened their pace as the sound of brass band music entered their ears, prompting them to pull their parents faster down the path, until a familiar water fountain came into view. There, they found a grand carnival. Full of food, sweets, music and games. And in the middle of it all, was the Starks._

_ Howard was older, the hairs at his temple just starting to grey. Tony was little more than teenager. Each in an immaculate, high end suit, with champagne in their hands and smiles on their faces. The children became ecstatic at the sight of them, running out of their parent's grasp and over to the millionaire father and son, who gave them a pair of sparklers and headed off to enjoy the fun. Steve jumped as he felt a hand clasp on his shoulder, looking back to see a dark-haired man in a navy blue suit, a white shirt and a loosened silver tie. It was Bucky. The Howling Commando smiled as he handed his oldest and closest friend an ice cold beer, leading Steve and Natasha to a series of tables on the corner of the park, where they found the rest of their friends. Thor. Clint. Dugan. Jane. Sam. Peggy. Fury. Bruce. Gabriel. Pepper. Coulson. All of the Avengers and the Howling Commandos alive and well, enjoying the wonder of the Fourth of July. They laughed. They drank. They played games with the children. They danced, oh boy did they dance. _

_The second the brass band finished warming up, Steve took Natasha's hand and led her onto the open field, where the two quickly busted out their best moves. Natasha chuckled as Steve spun her around, pulling her close right before he dipped her. The russian spy laughed as Steve snapped her back upright, leaning in for a kiss as the first firework of the night fired into the air._

* * *

Steve's eyes snapped open as the first firework exploded across the sky, snapping him out of whatever strange vision Natasha's kiss pulled him into. It all felt so real. He could still smell the cotton candy. Hear the fireworks and the jazz band. Taste the last few drops of beer on his tongue. Feel the sensation of Natasha's kiss. Steve stared into the russian spy's eyes as she stayed silent, the look in her eye making it clear she had seen something similar to what he had seen.

The female Avenger took a shaky breath she turned around, her russian accent slipping out once again as she asked. "Still uncomfortable?"

"That's not exactly the word I would use."


	2. Shooting Stars on Christmas Eve

To say Natasha's life was complicated after meeting Steve Rogers was an understatement to say the least.

She was his soulmate. Her knight in shining armor, her prince charming. The epitome of all the bedtime stories and fairy tales her mother had told her as a child. The antithesis of all the lessons Red Room had taught her.

Even if she did still believe, did she honestly think that she, the Black Widow, deserved to be Captain America's soulmate? If Steve knew about her life before SHIELD, about the innocent lives she'd taken, he'd think she was a monster. But Steve didn't know. Which is why he fawned over Natasha like a schoolboy going through his first crush.

She recognized the signs instantly. The awestruck look on his face when Coulson first introduced them. The way he always called her "M'am" or "Miss Romanoff" during those first few months. His eagerness to hold the door or pull out her chair whenever the opportunity presented itself. To be honest, it was sweet. And surprising.

When Natasha first heard that the super soldier of World War Two was alive, she really didn't expect him to live up to the legends. He was a 1940s man dropped right into the present day. She assumed that he'd be just like most of the men from that era: trapped in the archaic belief that a woman's place was in the kitchen and not on the battlefield.

But she was wrong. When Loki escaped from the helicarrier, Natasha was the first one Steve asked to fight by his side. After the battle for New York, Steve asked Natasha to teach him modern fighting styles. When Steve joined SHIELD, he asked Natasha to be his partner. Steve did desire Natasha. But he also admired and respected her. In a way that Natasha had never seen before. Which is why she constantly tried to find someone, anyone, who was willing to be with Steve in her place.

Just because she didn't deserve to be with Steve, didn't mean Natasha wanted him to be alone. He deserved to be happy, to be loved. And while they were plenty of women at SHIELD ready and willing to go out on a date with Captain America, Steve turned them all down. He only had eyes for Natasha. God, those eyes.

Those clear icy blue eyes that matched the color of Steve Rogers' soul. Eyes that pulled Natasha into a cool wintery trance everytime she looked at them, slowly making her forget all the pain she'd seen and caused. Eyes that made remembering even the simplest of Red Room's lessons a challenge. Whenever the two of them would train alone, Natasha's russian accent would slip out, causing her to clear her throat and blush while Steve just stared and smiled. Being able to hide her native tongue and take on another was Natasha's greatest skill. Her greatest defense against her old life. To know that a part of her was willing to fully let her guard down around Steve, was both freeing and terrifying.

Natasha tried to keep her distance, to keep their relationship professional. But whenever she and Steve were apart, there this...ache. A deep, burning pain that reminded her of her first few months in Red Room. One that increased that longer they were apart. Natasha knew that she should stay away, that she should condemn herself to a lifetime of pain for all the hurt that she'd caused. But it was too much for her to bear. And Steve couldn't seem to stay away either. So, she compromised, allowed herself to be his friend. It didn't end the pain, but it certainly made it bearable. Maybe that was why she stole USB drive Steve hid at the hospital. So she could have a reason to be near him before SHIELD devoured him. And if she got the chance to take out, Nick Fury's killer, all the better.

The master spy walked side by side with the first Avenger through the Washington DC mall, trying to get past swarming STRIKE team without being seen.

"Two incoming," Steve whispered, as they walked at a quick but casual pace "I'll engage. You make a run for the southeast exit."

Classic soldier logic. "Shut up and put your arm around me," Natasha ordered softly "Laugh at something I said."

"What?"

Natasha so did not have time to explain the finer points of hiding in plain sight. "Just do it."

Natasha suppressed a moan as his draped his arm over her shoulder, a wave of icy relief spreading over her, like an ice cube on a sunburn. It happened everytime the two of them shared the slightest touch. One the many reasons Natasha tried to keep her distance. It was good thing Steve was such a gentleman, otherwise she'd be putty in his hands.

As the two Avengers made their way across the mall, Natasha spotted a familiar face, riding on the opposite escalator. Rumlow. He was going to spot them. Unless…

"Kiss me," Natasha whispered.

Steve's eyes nearly fell out of his head. "What?"

Not that she could blame him. The first kiss between soulmates was said to cause powerful visions. Visions that would make it very hard for Natasha to keep her distance from Steve. But there was no other way to keep from getting spotted. "Public displays of affections make people uncomfortable."

"Yes, they do," Steve confirmed.

Realizing that he was too shy and too chivalrous to kiss her, Natasha rolled her eyes and grabbed Steve's neck, smashing her lips against his before he could say a word.

Natasha's skin became covered in goosebumps. Her heart skipped a beat. Her vision blurred into an icy blue haze.

* * *

_Natasha found herself sitting in a grand banquet hall, full of long tables covered in pure white cloths, gourmet food, and chilled bottles of champagne, surrounded by all of her closest friends, each in a formal suit or dress: Clint, Fury, Maria, Thor, Jane, Coulson, Bruce, Pepper and Tony, who was the host of this elegant affair._

_It was a Christmas Eve party. There were wreaths attached from the back of every white leather chair. Mistletoe dangled from the crystals chandeliers that lit the room. And a massive tree stood in the corner of the room, covered red and gold ornaments, surrounded by a sea of presents, a small orchestra set up in the other._

_Natasha smiled as she took in the happy sight, the russian spy wearing a black, full length evening gown with a moderate v-neck, along with matching heels and diamond earring studs, her long red hair draped over her left shoulder. The Black Widow blinked as a glass of champagne appeared in front of her, looking up to Steve Rogers smiling down at her._

_The super soldier wore his military dress uniform, his chest covered in medals and stars from his service in World War Two and beyond, holding a glass of champagne for her and himself._

_Natasha blushed at the adoring look Steve gave her as he sat down beside her, the two of them sharing a silent toast when Natasha heard a strange sound coming from underneath the table. Curious, the former KGB operative set down her drink and pulled up the tablecloth, revealing a pair of scheming children._

_The boy was the oldest, with Natasha's hair and Steve's eyes, wearing a jet black tuxedo, a red bow tie and sneakers. The girl was a blonde, wearing a deep blue silk dress and white ballet slippers, her face a perfect echo of Natasha's at that age._

_The Black Widow wagged a finger as she spotted her children's stolen treasures, presents from under the tree and desserts from the kitchen. Natasha felt a smile tug at her lips as the children started to laugh, completely unashamed of what they'd done._

_Steve chuckled as he helped Natasha pull the children out from under the table, promising to give the sweets back after dinner once the children had placed all the presents back under the tree._

_Natasha's eyes shined with excitement as the orchestra began to play, taking Steve's hand and leading him onto the dance floor, the two of them swaying back and forth to the gentle music. Standing there, gently wrapped in Steve's arms, Natasha had never felt so calm, so secure, so safe. She didn't know how long they danced, only that when she needed a rest, Natasha's head was resting on Steve's chest, the dance floor filled with their friends swaying to the music. The redheaded russian smiled as she spotted her children, once again making a play for the presents under the tree as their parents headed to the balcony. _

_Natasha smiled as she breathed in the crisp winter night air, the city of New York covered in a fresh blanket of snow, the night sky lit only by a blue moon. Steve quickly took off his jacket, causing Natasha's heart to skip a beat as he draped it over her shoulder. She loved it when she did things like that, those simple gentleman gestures that always made her feel special. With eyes filled with excitement, Steve reached into his pocket, pulling out a small black velvet box and handing it to Natasha._

_Curious, the former KGB agent tilted her head as she opened the box, letting out a soft gasp as she saw what was inside. Four tickets to the New York ballet company's Christmas performance of the Nutcracker. It had been sold out for months, Natasha knew because she had been trying to get tickets for months. Her parents used to take her to see the Russian rendition of the Nutcraker every year when she was little. She wanted to restart the tradition, but she could never get any tickets. Steve smiled at the look on Natasha's face, jerking his head in the direction of Tony, who smiled and raised his champagne high from the banquet hall._

_Natasha's face broke into a massive smile as she threw her arms around Steve's neck, pulling him into a massive hug. God, she loved him so much. Steve was kind and strong and good and an amazing father to their kids. He knew she had red on her ledger, and he didn't care. As the soldier and the spy brought their embrace to an end, Steve placed a gentle hand on Natasha's cheek, leaning in close as the night sky sprang to life with shooting stars._

* * *

Natasha's eyes snapped open as soon the vision came to an end, her lips less than inch away from Steve's. What was that? A dream? A glimpse of the future? But those kids...they were _her _kids. Hers and Steve's. But that was impossible. Wasn't it? Natasha stayed silent as she kept her gaze locked on Steve, the look in his eyes making it clear that he had seen something as well. But what? Tabling that for another time, Natasha took a deep breath as she turned around, her Russian accent slipping through as she asked. "Still uncomfortable?"

"That's not exactly the word I would use."


End file.
